Why Women?
I went to a friend’s house and sat with her on the couch. Her little one buzzing around the house, squealing in delight that she’d just used the big-girl potty. We laughed and talked, her eyes tired from her 3-month old and her sweet but energized toddler. Her baby woke up and she nestled him close to her chest. As she struggled to cover his head and her breast to feed him, she continued talking about what was happening in her life. She did it all with so much grace, but I couldn’t help but comment on her struggle to cover her son so she didn’t offend. “You don’t need to this for me,” I said laughing, “if women felt they needed to cover in Haiti, I don’t know how much work we’d really get done.” She laughed and we began talking about the differing views of mothering around the world and how women really are expected to do so much with such little inconvenience to others.
I am not a mother yet, and I think about it a lot. I will never forget the staff meeting we had right after one of our favorite little humans was born. He was hungry, and his mother was mid-sentence when she began openly breastfeeding him. While it was uncomfortable because we hadn’t seen much of that at that time, it also made complete sense. She was working, she was in the middle of a conversation, and her son needed to eat. Since then, I feel like my life between Haiti and the USA has been one giant experiment about the demands of mommas in both of these countries and the ways women are expected to act.
I’m not proud of it, but even in my early years of mission work, I glazed over women. It was harder, I found, to engage them and I wanted to make the biggest and best impact for Jesus! So, I had no time to spare getting to know the complexities of these women, why they’d be a little slower to open up to a white girl they knew nothing about, and why they were skeptical of the things we were doing. Even now, I find that when people visit us they have a lot of notes about the ways the women in our community, many who I now consider close friends, are towards them. “They kind of scowl at me,” they say, or “I wish they were a little more welcoming.” I too used to feel this way quite often when I attempted to engage the women in my communities. I felt it wasn’t worth the work, to be quite frank. I wanted people to have clean water! I wanted people to have peace because of Jesus! I couldn’t just engage these women who didn’t like me.
Luckily for me, I got knocked on my tush when I moved in with a few families several years into our mission work. Prior to this, we were traveling Haiti with a few single guys, but living with families was a whole new experience. It was really trying for me at the time because I’d felt like I’d taken 500 steps backward. What it really did was give me a real glimpse into the realities of Haitian culture, the demands on women in this country (and around the world), and also showed me one of the most important lessons of all: Haitian women do not owe me anything; time, explanation, friendships, or more. In fact, I should need to prove myself to them, not the other way around. It was good and right for me to be uncomfortable. I was an American girl living with Haitian families while I was still struggling to learn the culture, language and more. I am beyond thankful for the lessons this time taught me.
Even now, I am learning. Constantly evolving to be the best kind of friend to the people I work alongside in Haiti. It has drop kicked my ego and shattered what I thought of Christianity while simultaneously building up my pride in the right things. Here are a few lessons I learned along the way.
Women do not have to be loud or upfront to be incredible agents of change
“When women gain a voice in society, there's evidence of less violence.” (Half the Sky)
So many of my friends that I (sadly) overlooked or put in a box because they weren’t a Type-A aggressor make huge, lasting changes in their communities. I see it every day, and I have seen it last throughout the years. I am constantly in awe of how committed women are to making changes in their communities, both at home and abroad.
Engaging women in the areas of community development ensures the success of a project or initiative.
While I believe men have a vital role in carrying out projects and development programs, I also think we often cut our resources in half when we ignore women or pretend they can’t add significant value to the implementation of programs and projects that usually lay a big burden at the feet of these ladies and their families.
“Women and girls are more likely to carry the burden of energy poverty and experience the adverse effects of lack of safe, reliable, affordable and clean energy,” so they work harder to make sure it happens. (UN Women)
“Investing in programs improving income-generating activities for women can return $7 dollars for every dollar spent.” (UN)
“In general, the best clue to a nation's growth and development potential is the status and role of women” (Half the Sky)
God is with, really truly with, these women who want to make a change in their communities.
Often we blame a region's religion when the oppression instead may be rooted in its culture. Yet, that acknowledged, it's also true that . . . it is often cited by the oppressors (Half the Sky).
This is perhaps one of my main soapboxes these days. I just don’t get the importance of telling a woman that she is lesser than or incapable of doing life-changing things simply because of her anatomy. All of humankind was made in the image of God, not just men. So, what’s the harm of having a woman as a co-laborer or leader? In my opinion, and from what I’ve seen, it actually is just more of a blessing and benefit. Women carry so much in their communities, have leadership skills, and seek God in different ways. We can all benefit from that kind of unshakable faith.
Women know how to make savvy and beneficial decisions in leadership both in the home and outside of the home.
“When women gain control over spending, less family money is devoted to instant gratification and more for education and starting small businesses” (Half the Sky)
“You educate a boy, and you're educating an individual. You educate a girl, and you're educating a village- African Proverb” (Half the Sky)
I’ve seen first hand the ways women make financial and savvy decisions regarding money and forward-thinking. Once again, not saying men aren’t capable of this, but if you are trying to make business, whether non-profit or for-profit or somewhere in between successful, don’t you want all of these people on your team?
Women are smart business people and can help the entire community succeed.
“Companies greatly benefit from increased employment and leadership opportunities for women, which is shown to increase organizational effectiveness and growth. It is estimated that companies with three or more women in senior management functions score higher in all dimensions of organizational performance” (UN Women)
“Women's empowerment helps raise economic productivity and reduce infant mortality. It contributes to improved health and nutrition. It increases the chances of education for the next generation.” (Half the Sky)
Women’s economic empowerment boosts productivity, increases economic diversification and income equality in addition to other positive development outcomes. (UN Women)
“Leadership must come from the developing world itself, and that is beginning to happen. In India, Africa, and the Middle East, men and women alike are pushing for greater equality. These people need our support.” (Half the Sky)
The most important things we can do is stop, listen, and learn.
“We believe an international women's movement needs to focus less on holding conventions or lobbying for new laws, and more time in places like rural Zimbabwe, listening to communities and helping them get their girls into school.” (Half the Sky)
One of the best lessons I’ve learned is how to shut my mouth and listen. While it is not exciting all the time, it is right. I am challenged often on my own ideas of what feminism and equality mean on a global level. It is not up to me to define these terms for people in a different culture. I do not need to hold them to the standards I have for them, but ask them what they need. We need to stand with women globally in their fight for safer childbirth conditions, better opportunities for working and leadership, encouraging them in their ministry dreams, cheering them on as they fight for better resources for their communities, and working to make a better world for their families and friends. Because they are doing it, and the best thing we can do is get behind them and take notes.